So um, yes, I put on a glove today and used a tissue to pick up the condom at the Woods Hole playground. Grosser than gross I know. You can stop reading now if you want. I did it because it’s a playground and I felt for the mom with the inquisitive kid who would be bound to ask “what’s that Mommy?”
I also did it to atone for any similar sins that I might have committed in my own past – hey, we were all young once.
The other items I picked up while the boys were playing consisted mainly of nip bottles. There was also an unusual amount of clothing left behind on the playground and adjoining field. One hat, two socks (different locations, different patterns), a pair of shoes, a belt, and a beach towel with the name Milo stitched on it.
These items were strewn about in different places too; it wasn’t as if one person (or two people) drank a bunch of nips, stripped down, and then put that condom to use. These items were too random.
I wondered whether these people would be back to look for their lost items? The shoes for instance; or the monogrammed towel. We left these them in hopes that they would make it back to their owners but maybe clothing is so inexpensive these days that it’s no big deal to suddenly realize you’ve forgotten a hat or a pair of shoes somewhere. It’s just as easy to buy a replacement item than to wrack your brain or backtrack to see where you left the original.
I once had this tan beret and I left it at the movie theater. I went back and searched through the lost and found to retrieve it. Then I left it at a movie theater down Cape (you’d think I’d have learned not to bring it to movie theaters but alas, no). It made its way back to me though – there was a woman in the audience who recognized me, knew where I worked, and showed up unexpectedly at the office one day with the hat. I was elated. There were pins on the hat with sentimental value. The pins are on a wallet now. The beret is in the attic.